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Don’t You Know Who I Think I Was?

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Everyone always tells us to dream, and to never give up on those dreams. I agree with that sentiment for the most part. Everyone should have goals, aspirations, hopes, and dreams. I think the question for me is “Is it worth it?”

When I was in high school, during my junior year I met with a career adviser. Which in retrospect, at 16 I had no idea what I’d really want to do with the rest of my life. The man had my high school transcript in front of him, and asked me what I thought I’d want to major in, what I’d like to do.

I told him I wanted to be a pharmacist and go to pharmacy school. Now, if you know me, math and science are not my best subjects, yet I always found pharmacology very interesting. The man saw my grades of C’s in biology and chemistry and said to me, “You know how they say you can be anything you want to be when you grow up? That isn’t true.” Ouch. The man had a point though.

Could I have become a pharmacist? Sure, maybe so, but I would have been in hell and always struggled with my coursework.  Would it have been worth it?

Today, ten years later (oh lord), I can tell you I don’t feel like I’m missing out on my dream career as a pharmacist. I ended up going to college and went though the following progression of majors: criminal justice, international studies, mass communications

Did I land in the right place? I’m not sure. I don’t think it was the wrong place. I am glad I got out of international studies when I did, because that would have led me down a quick road to nowhere, but I wonder what I could have done with criminal justice. I really wanted to work for the DEA, particularly the more behind the scenes stuff with investigations.

For the past five years I have been working in marketing. Do I like it? Sure, it’s okay. Do I feel like there is something out there that is more me? Yes, I do.

What is that? I don’t know.

The commitment of pursing a new dream is big, and I want to be sure it’s the right one. I’ve considered air traffic control, hair/makeup artist, wedding coordinator, physical therapy assistant, pursing an MBA, or looking back into that DEA idea. Kind of all over the place, right?

At 27, I still feel young enough to know that I can achieve my dreams, whatever they might be. I suppose there should never be an age cap on dreams.

Maybe one day I’ll know, maybe it will just come to me when I least expect it and I will feel 100 percent sure. That would be nice. But maybe it won’t, and I’ll just have to take a chance…

Did you ever make a career change? Do you feel like you choose the right path in college?


Strength Training will save you, so get off the elliptical.

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I came across this article via Yahoo! News on the benefits of strength training. I really liked how the article was presented.

It mentions how strength is directly related to longevity, and how people who are strong live the longest. Who doesn’t want to live longer?

Another topic it brings up is how walking blindly around the gym is doing you no good  (Remember my lost cat analogy?).

Most of all, it talks about how sitting for hours on end every day is one of the worst things we do. Then some of us show up at the gym and we sit down to row, sit on a recumbant bike, sit for lat pull downs, etc.

Some say sitting will kill us. Something to think about isn’t it?

“Your toughest lift will be your ass of the couch.” – So true!

*I am not a fitness professional, so please always consult with your healthcare professional before starting a new program.

CrossFit it is.

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Well, a decision has been made! If you know me, you know I can be indecisive and fickle, but I’ve made my mind up (for now…).

After considering whether to stick with CrossFit, join a gym, or run a half marathon, I have decided I want to get back to CrossFit.

I want to explain my decision and share my thoughts.

While I’d love to feel the glory of finishing a half-marathon, I have to think about my knees and how they felt when I was running 10Ks. They felt sad and angry. I saw a doctor and went to a physical therapist for a bit, but I don’t think it’s necessarily in my best interest to try to go past 5-6 miles. Not until I can commit to strengthening my knees and the muscles that support them (read: lazy when it comes to that stuff). Also, as you’ve read, I running and I have an on-and-off again relationship and right now I am giving running evil stares from across the room.

Why am I not joining a conventional gym?

The main reason is that while I was running and lifting yesterday at the gym I had a realization. I was surrounded by people who weren’t working that hard. Now, before you get offended, let me explain. I applaud anyone who takes the time to go to the gym and workout and I mean that. For me though, being surrounded by people walking at a 2.5 on the treadmill isn’t super motivating. That being said, if all you have in your is to walk a 2.5 on the treadmill, rock on! What I mean by this is I personally, like to be surrounded by people who are better and fitter than me (or at least trying as hard as those people), it pushes me to work harder. Plus, I think we can all admit we’ve felt that “lost cat” feeling a the gym before.  Okay, I just made that up but let’s go with it. You know what I mean, that lack of direction, not knowing where to start or what to do next.

I also ran into the common issue of the weight area being dominated by men who hog the space, but beyond that, it was the “lost cat dilemma.”. I was wandering around doing random strength stuff. Some machines, some things I learned at CrossFit, and I realized that I need direction! I want to make the most of my workout, not wander around doing this and that.

So with all of that said, I’ve landed on CrossFit. When I was doing CrossFit the two months leading up to the wedding, I felt strong, confident, and would leave feeling like I just got my butt kicked and never doubt that I just had a great workout.

To make things even better, CrossFit Jaguar is running a Groupon for one-month of unlimited classes so John is going to do it and go with me. It’s a great deal!

I’m excited to get back and happy it’s something John and I can do together, at least for now. 🙂

Have you tried CrossFit? What did you think? Love it? Hate it?

Oh, hello again!

It’s been a while since my last post. I try to only post when I have something worthwhile to post about or when I want to. A blog shouldn’t be a chore, right?

So what has been going on? Well, for one, I’m married now! Our wedding and honeymoon were both amazing and everything I wanted. Here are two photos from a friend. We are waiting for our professional shots.

We got married at Casa Feliz in Winter Park, Florida. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the most beautiful place in Florida to get married. It was exactly our style and what we wanted.

We spent two weeks in London, Paris, and Barcelona for our honeymoon. We had never been to Europe before so it was a very exciting trip for both of us. I’ve told John I feel a little snooty when I tell people about our honeymoon, because it was a little fancy pants, but we planned and saved for it for a long time. 🙂

We returned back to the states and two days later it was my 27th birthday! It’s crazy to me to not only be married now, but 27. I feel young at heart. The good thing is, I am often told I don’t look 27 (the consensus seems to be that I look 23) so I guess everything is okay?

On top of all of that, a week after we got back I started my new job! It’s been a whirlwind of a month for sure. My first week at the new job was great. Everyone there is very friendly and I see lots of opportunities for myself. I’m in a marketing/business development role at a company in the fitness industry.

While I may not be at my goal weight, or be a marathoner, I think if you know me, you know health and fitness are very important to me. I’m thrilled to be working for a cause that I really believe in.

So this is my “Welcome Back!” post to myself and if all goes as planned, I’ll have a really cool upcycling project to post about next week that John and I are doing. Stay tuned!

What have you been up to? Did you miss me? 🙂

Running: The never ending battle.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.”

When I was younger I hated running. I used to say when I wrote a book I’d include a chapter about how much I hate to run. No, really…

I had bad experiences with running from a young age. I’d always be the slowest in gym class. I played basketball and lacrosse in middle and high school and struggled with sprints and conditioning the most. For me, I think it ties back to self-esteem. Running made me feel bad about myself!

In early 2010 I started the Couch to 5k plan. It builds up your endurance to run a 5k if you aren’t a runner already. I struggled with it, a lot, but I completed it. I felt really great about myself and have run around six 5k’s since! Following that, I worked myself up to a 10k distance and have run two 10k’s! Wow, me a runner?

I ran my first 10k alone and felt really great with that accomplishment. However, when I ran my second one with a friend and she beat my time by several minutes, I felt like shit. Maybe it’s a competitive thing, but I think it’s still more of those feelings of “finishing last,” that upset me. Coaches yelling at you for being slow when you’re 15 probably plants a bad seed somewhere.

My attitude towards running improved, but I still have a lot of insecurities. I wasn’t fast by any means. A 12 minute mile was about my fastest and it made me feel crappy. Especially when I read some of favorite bloggers post about their runs at a < 9 minute mile.

Over the next year (2011) I fell off the wagon in terms of running. The 10k distances started giving me knee issues so I started doing different forms of exercise. I did a lot of spinning in 2011. It’s not cool how quickly your endurance goes away after it takes a long time to build it up! It’s kind of like how it takes forever to lose weight yet you can gain it back so quickly. Lame.

If you read my last post, you saw that for the past month I’ve been doing CrossFit and I really enjoy it. However, these pesky feelings seem to be creeping up on me again. We had two days this week with a lot of running and I’ll give you one guess on who had the slowest time in her group. *waves*. My initial reaction is still to feel sad. I believe I am in decent shape, but my legs just won’t move as fast as I’d like them to.

Yesterday, I was the last person to finish the workout which consisted of all runs, but rather than letting myself feel too sorry for my slowness, I felt proud that I was pushing myself to finish. It also helps to have people cheering you on and encouraging you. I need to focus on myself, being the best I can be, and not worrying about everyone around me. I think doing this will improve my life-long struggle with running.

I hope one day running and I can truly be friends. For now we hang out sometimes and I might talk behind her back about what a bitch she is.

How do you feel about running?

It’s not fair.

fair 1. free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice


I often get hung up on the idea of fairness, because life should be fair, right?

If I do good at a job interview and don’t get an offer, it’s not fair.

If I work hard to lose weight and see slow results, it’s not fair.

If I am a good person and bad things happen to me, it’s definitely not fair.

I guess this could tie into the more philosophical question (which I often also wonder) of, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” but I’m going to try and keep things light.

I am guilty as anyone else is on dropping the F-bomb (fair-bomb), because well, in a perfect world, things would indeed be fair. The immoral people who do bad things would experience bad things, and the moral and good people would be reaping in the goodness.

But it’s not a perfect world, our lives aren’t perfect, and surely people aren’t perfect.

I think one thing we have to remember is that life isn’t fair. The thought of fairness is irrelevant in our lives. Sure, if we work hard and are good people, I believe we will have our fair share of happiness, but we will also have our fair share of disappointment and pain. It’s just part of life.

Someone you love, who is a good person may fall ill,  you won’t get the promotion you worked so hard for, and you may lose something or someone very important to you. You may find yourself in tears, crying out “This isn’t fair! I don’t deserve this!” I know I have many times. And you know what? You probably don’t deserve it.

Regardless, we need to focus on when live has been fair to us, when good things have happened, and know that good things will come again, even if it seems impossible. Life is so full of ups and downs, highs and lows. If you look back over your life I’m sure you’d agree.

I’m not saying it’s easy to be positive and brush off all this unfairness that will come your way, but if you can change your way of thinking about it, you’re bound to be happier.

Are you guilty of dropping the F-bomb? Will you try to have a more positive outlook about life and fairness in 2012?

That moment when you decide.

Hello friends, Happy New Year! It’s been two months since my last post. That’s not okay. In my defense, I’ve been a bit busy with the holiday season amongst other things.

I don’t like the idea of a true resolution, I like to make goals for the year and do the best I can.

My goal for 2012 is to make it the best year I can, for myself and for those in my life.

As 2011 came to an end, things were going pretty good. I felt really positive as the New Year approached. I have a lot to look forward to this year. In less than three months, I will be marrying my best friend and we will be spending two weeks in Europe for our honeymoon!

I have to say though, the first and second day of January came with two blows and had be left feeling blue. “Here we go again,” I thought.

Yet, as I woke up thing morning, even though I still feel a bit kicked down, I realized that this is that moment. The moment when I make the decision to overcome the set-backs and push forward, to not let these things ruin my day (month, year, etc.).

I liken it to when I started Weight Watchers in 2005. My first week on the program I lost 5 pounds and felt great. When I weighed-in my second week I saw a gain. It was so defeating and I remember being very upset and crying and doubting my ability. Again though, it was that moment when I made the choice to overcome the set-back and keep going. I subsequently lost over 100 pounds in the following 16 months.

Now, as I leave my computer from writing this post, my anxiousness still lingers and I feel that twinge of sadness within, but I chose to push past it and meet my goals and prosper this year.

I hope you all can do the same this year, meet your goals and overcome your personal hurdles.